When we think about family caregivers, we usually picture an adult child helping an aging parent. Maybe it’s a daughter taking Mom to doctor appointments or a son helping Dad manage his medications.

But there’s another group of caregivers we don’t hear much about.

Children. And I’m not talking about adult children. I’m talking about kids who are still in school.

Imagine a 14-year-old coming home from school. Instead of heading outside with friends or starting homework, she helps Grandma get dressed, prepares dinner, and reminds her to take her medications.

For some children, this isn’t an occasional favor. It’s everyday life.

A 2025 study estimated that four million American children help care for a sick, disabled, or aging family member. And the actual number may be even higher.

That’s a lot of young people carrying responsibilities that many adults would find overwhelming.

Why This Matters

Families Are Being Stretched Thin

In my elder law practice, I see how difficult caregiving can be for families.

Mom or Dad wants to stay at home. The family wants to honor that wish. But someone has to provide the care.

Sometimes it’s a spouse. Sometimes it’s an adult child who is juggling a job, children, and other responsibilities.

And sometimes, when everyone else is stretched too thin, the grandchildren step in.

There are several reasons this is happening more often.

People are living longer, often with health problems that require daily help. Professional home care is expensive. Many families simply cannot afford to hire someone for all the hours they need.

And Medicare generally doesn’t pay for long-term help with everyday activities like bathing, dressing, or preparing meals.

Medicaid may help pay for certain home care services, but eligibility and available services vary.

When families cannot find or afford enough help, they often turn to whoever is available.

Sometimes that person is a child.

Helping Grandma Is Wonderful. Becoming Grandma’s Caregiver Is Something Different.

I think there’s something special about children spending time with their grandparents.

Helping Grandma make dinner, carrying groceries, or spending an afternoon together can teach kindness, patience, and responsibility.

Those are valuable life lessons.

But there’s a difference between helping a grandparent and being responsible for a grandparent’s daily care.

Some children are helping with bathing, changing bandages, managing medications, and other tasks that would challenge a trained adult.

That’s a tremendous responsibility for a young person.

And it comes at a cost.

Time spent caregiving may mean less time for homework, sports, friendships, or simply being a kid.

Some children lose sleep. Others worry constantly about what might happen to their loved one when they’re not home.

Many of these children love the person they’re helping and genuinely want to be there.

But that doesn’t mean the responsibility is fair to them.

The Risks Go Both Ways

There’s another concern that families may not think about.

What happens if Grandma falls and her 13-year-old grandson is the only person home?

What if he gives her the wrong medication?

What if she needs help getting out of bed and he isn’t strong enough to safely lift her?

These situations can put both the older adult and the child at risk.

And what happens when that child gets sick, has an important school event, or eventually leaves for college?

A care plan that depends heavily on a child may work for a while, but it isn’t a reliable long-term solution.

Other Countries Are Paying Attention

Some countries have begun treating young caregivers as a group that needs special support.

In England, children who provide care can have their own needs evaluated to determine whether they’re taking on too much.

Australia offers programs to help young caregivers stay in school.

Sweden requires health care providers to consider the needs of children living with seriously ill family members.

Here in the United States, support is much more limited.

Some programs offer counseling, caregiver training, and respite care, which means temporary help so a caregiver can take a break.

But many families don’t know these services exist, and not every child will qualify.

This Is Also an Estate Planning and Elder Law Issue

When I meet with families about estate planning or long-term care, we often talk about who will make decisions if someone becomes unable to manage their own affairs.

Who will handle the finances? Who will make medical decisions? Who will oversee the care?

But there’s another question that’s just as important.

Who will actually provide the care?

Naming someone to make decisions is not the same as having a realistic plan for the day-to-day help a person may need.

That’s why long-term care planning matters.

Families should understand what Medicare covers, whether Medicaid might be available, what professional home care costs, and what community resources may help.

Here in Michigan, programs such as MI Choice Waiver or PACE may help eligible older adults receive care at home rather than in a nursing facility.

Not everyone qualifies, and services depend on individual needs and program availability. But knowing the options before a crisis can make a real difference.

A good plan also considers the family members who will be providing care.

We don’t want to create a situation where one person carries the entire burden simply because no other arrangements were made.

And we certainly don’t want that burden falling on a child.

Simple Lesson

Family caregiving can be an act of love. But love shouldn’t require a child to give up being a child.

Good long-term care planning protects more than the person who needs help. It also protects the family members who love and care for them.

Action Step

If you or someone you love may need help with daily activities, have a family conversation now.

Talk about who can realistically provide care, what outside help may be available, and how that care will be paid for.

If children or grandchildren are already helping, make sure their responsibilities are reasonable and that adults remain responsible for their loved one’s safety and care.

The goal isn’t to keep children from helping their grandparents.

It’s to make sure they can enjoy being grandchildren, too.

If this topic raises questions for you or your family, feel free to call (517) 548-7400 or contact us online: https://www.michiganestateplans.com/contact-us